Nov 13 2008
I want a bailout too
Dear President-elect Obama,
I have some student loans but I make regular payments on them. I have a mortgage locked in at a great APR with a bank that has proven to be quite stable recently all things considered. I have the usual run of monthly bills to Qwest, Avista, Comcast, City of Spokane, that sort of thing and when it comes down to it the only thing about my personal finances that sucks eggs right now is my 401k.
My family is weathering this economic crisis reasonably well all things considered, but I’d like to free up some income to put into savings so I’d like to ask you if I could have a bailout too.
I think that if the Fat Cats on Wall Street or up in Motown can get a bailout then maybe I could get one. I don’t have Michigan’s governor campaigning for my bailout, but I could ask my wife to maybe throw in a good word … she’s from Alabama which hopefully you won’t hold against her since Alabama was solidly in McCain country on November 4th.
There’s all this talk about helping Wall Street and Main Street and I wanted to say that I don’t live on Main Street but I live pretty close to Ray, which is one of the main north-south arterials on the South Hill. So that’s sort of a Main Street. Does that qualify me for help?
Oh yeah … I’m a pretty hard worker, I pay my taxes, I vote, I served in the military, I don’t break laws, I support the cattle industry by eating red meat and up until five months I was a supporter of Big Tobacco like you. In other words I’ve done a lot of things to support our country those Fat Cat CEOs aren’t willing to do so maybe I’m worth the credit risk.
If you give me the money I promise that ABC’s Brian Ross won’t catch me in Scottsdale, Arizona enjoying a lavish week-long getaway. I might go to Sun City West, but only because that’s where my in-laws live.
And here’s the kicker: I’m not going to cost you $700 Billion. I won’t even cost you a million dollars. Heck at this point I’d settle for lunch.
Anyway … I just figured I’d get in line since everyone seems to be asking you for money.
Thanks for your consideration Mr. President-elect. Good luck with the dog search.
~Rob
(7 votes, average: 4.86 out of 5)
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Yeah Mr President Elect I want a bail out too so I can start my business and pay off my college loans. I will just step in line with the rest, I just hope somebody brought snacks it’s gonna be a long wait!