You always hear people telling parents to get rid of their kids pacifiers, aka binkies. Those are usually grandparents who think they know all (don’t get me wrong, not all think that) or people without kids. Yeah, I think it’s gross when an older kid uses the thing and it’s all saliva-ee and dirty and he’s talking while the thing is in his mouth, but guess what… I’m not his parent and I’m not going to tell him to get rid of it. Parents will get rid the thing when the time is right, and the time was right for us last night.
For the last year and half we’ve let Leialoha sleep with a pacifier. The main reason: with it she goes down easily without a fight and sleeps for a good 12 hours. I’ve always said… I’ll let her sleep with the thing as long as possible if it means good sleep for her… and in return, good sleep for me. However, things recently came to a head… when the pacifer would fall out of her crib in the middle of the night and I’d wake up to a sad, pathetic little voice crying “Maaaahmy, Daaaahdy, Biinky”. Over and over, time and time again. Clearly, the pacifier no longer meant a peacefull sleep. Both her father and I realized it was time to get rid of the thing.
And it was as though, the move to get rid of it just fell into our lap. For some odd reason (the grace of God?), Robby let her take the pacifier out of the crib (against the rules btw) and sit on the toilet with it. Weird, I know. Just as Leialoha finished handling her business, the thing dropped from her mouth into the toilet. My first thought: Gross. My second: Yes! No more binky!
We took the opportunity and ran with it… telling her no more pacifier because it fell in the yucky toilet. We prepared for last night all day, telling her she’d go to sleep with no pacifier, repeating what had happened that morning. When we got home from daycare I saw her looking into the toilet saying “Bye Bye”. Haha. So cute. And last night when I put her down, she cried for less than 30 seconds. We heard just one peep all night when she did call to her daddy with a pathetic “Daaahdy, binky”. He went in, layed her down, and she was out. Nice!
Young mothers hear “It’s hardest on the parents” a lot… whether it be leaving your child with someone else for the first time or getting rid of something like a pacifier. And t’was proven true for us. After the painless move to take away the binky, I realize now it could have been done awhile ago. Was my daughter playing us for fools? Probably.
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Very cute story. I was wondering how that went. How wonderful that she got rid of it herself. Now watch, she’ll jack another kid’s binky at daycare. Kidding!
Ha.
This morning when I took Leialoha to daycare she saw that her friend Jory had her binky in her mouth as she came in. Leialoha immediately pointed and said, “binky, binky”. I reminded her that she is a big girl who no longer uses a binky. I’m not convinced that she buys that excuse. Also, last night did go well, but I don’t think we’re out of the woods just yet. However, let’s hope so.
“Those are usually …..people without kids”
–> I’m sorry but it really is tiring to repeatedly hear a parent say things like that. The whole “you don’t understand because you don’t have children” is a really weak argument. Yes, I’ve seen “some” people become more mature after having kids (and being forced to grow up) but I’ve also seen people who didn’t change a bit because they were already mature enough to be parents. Just look at “Octomom” as exhibit #1. Many people believe she’s too emotionally unstable to have 1 child (let alone 14!) but she does. I see just as many poor decisions from people with kids as I do from people without and I strongly disagree with the notion that a parent will make a “better” decision simply because they’re parents…
“Parents will get rid the thing when the time is right, and the time was right for us last night.”
–> This falls along the same lines as the first remark and really seems to paints far too broad a brush on the general category of people with children. I’ve seen (and have personally known) many people who were terrible decision makers when it came to their own parenting. To infer that “parents” somehow have a greater ability to make wise decisions irt children is a stretch at best don’t you think? Just look at those shows where someone has to come in and show the parents all the things they’re doing wrong. Many of those parents have been parents for many years already and have “yet” to figure it out.
On the other hand, you can have people who are brand new parents who make much better decisions from the get-go. I’ve seen some nannies, and even baby-sitters, make great decisions even though they don’t have kids of their own. Actually, I find that parents are sometimes too emotionally connected to make the correct decision. Why? Because they don’t “see” the problems for the same reasons people don’t notice weight gains, or slow behavior changes, in people they see every day.
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–> No, I don’t have kids of my own. I have baby-sat and I “do” have pets. That’s another often debated topic where “parents” will say that pets aren’t like having kids. Well, just one of many arguments for it being just as hard is that when human kids are sick they can generally tell you where/how it hurts. With pets they usually try to mask their injuries and you can’t “ask them” where/how it hurts. Parents I’ve known with undiagnosed sick children have usually said “I wish I just knew what it was”. Well, with pets it’s much more difficult to diagnose those unknown medical problems so the owners of those pets generally have to deal with “not knowing” for much longer than other parents. Many pet owners feel like their pets are their adopted children anyway and they experience the same degree of emotions that people do with their human kids. I’ve known people with children & pets who’ve said they loved both equally. Yes, I realize that many other parents don’t understand that.
–> That’s just my 2 cents people; I’m not inferring anything about a particular parent who may be reading this. How could I unless I know you personally? I’m sure plenty of parents disagree with me though…
“Those are usually …people without kids”
I’m sorry but it’s really tiring to repeatedly hear parents say things like that. The whole “you don’t understand because you don’t have children” is a really weak argument. Yes, I’ve seen “some” people become more mature after having kids (and being forced to grow up) but I’ve also seen people who didn’t change a bit because they were already mature enough to be parents. Just look at “Octomom” as exhibit #1 for a parent who makes “wrong decisions” (over and over). Many people believe she’s too emotionally unstable to have 1 child (let alone 14!) but she does. I see just as many poor decisions from people with kids as I do from people without and I strongly disagree with the notion that a parent will make a “better” decision simply because they’re parents…
“Parents will get rid the thing when the time is right, and the time was right for us last night.”
–> This falls along the same lines as the first remark and really seems to paints far too broad a brush on the general category of people with children. I’ve seen (and have personally known) many people who were terrible decision makers when it came to their own parenting. To infer that “parents” somehow have a greater ability to make wise decisions irt children is a stretch at best don’t you think? Just look at those shows where someone has to come in and show the parents all the things they’re doing wrong. Many of those parents have been parents for many years already and have “yet” to figure it out.
On the other hand, you can have people who are brand new parents who make much better decisions from the get-go. I’ve seen some nannies, and even baby-sitters, make great decisions even though they don’t have kids of their own. Actually, I find that parents are sometimes too emotionally connected to make the correct decision. Why? Because they don’t “see” the problems for the same reasons people don’t notice weight gains, or slow behavior changes, in people they see every day.
–> No, I don’t have kids of my own. Yes, I have baby-sat and I “do” have pets. That’s another often debated topic where “parents” will say that pets aren’t like having kids. Well, just one of many arguments for it being just as hard is that when human kids are sick they can generally tell you where/how it hurts. With pets they usually try to mask their injuries and you can’t “ask them” where/how it hurts. Parents I’ve known with undiagnosed sick children have usually said “I wish I just knew what it was”. Well, with pets it’s much more difficult to diagnose those unknown medical problems so the owners of those pets generally have to deal with “not knowing” for much longer than other parents. Many pet owners feel like their pets are their adopted children anyway and they experience the same degree of emotions that people do with their human kids. I’ve known people with children & pets who’ve said they loved both equally. Yes, I realize that many other parents don’t understand that.
That’s just my 2 cents people; I’m not inferring anything about a particular parent who may be reading this. How could I unless I know you personally? I’m sure plenty of parents disagree with me though…
Getting rid of the binkie at our house was dramatic. We talked to our daughter for weeks about how we were going to go to Teddy Bear Junction and get a new stuffed animal and the binkie would go in the stuffed animal. I did a lot of research on how to rid her of her binkie…only AFTER our dentist informed us she was developing a cross-bite. Putting it inside a stuffed animal seemed like the best option given our daughters’ love of stuffed animals. Anyway, the first night was literally an hour of screaming for her binkie. “Take it out of Spirit Mom! Take it out!” The second night…45 minutes. The third night…15 minutes (yeah!) and finally, the fourth night about 2 minutes. All in all it was quite an ordeal and probably some of the cause of our daughter’s dramatic personality. I’m so glad your daughter’s rite of passage went so well the first night. She sounds much more laid back than mine. *sigh*
Just to be clear: I enjoyed your story and don’t want to come across as being negative irt it. My comments were exclusive to the non-parents don’t understand concept. It’s more of a “release” of built up thoughts from hearing that type of thing.
You’re trying to get rid of the binky – I’m trying to shove it in Dylan’s mouth! So glad you went first with this kid thing so you can tell me what to do!
I should have commented yesterday, but was too choked up over another right of passage and my baby girl is growing up!!
The Mom
I wish I still had my binky. Maybe then, I wouldn’t smoke.
Anyone have any ideas on Getting Rid of the Jonas Brothers? My daughter is a teenager now. How I long for those binky days of innocence.
Melissa,
Hillarious quote “Take it out of Spirit, Mom!”. So cute. I must say, that’s very creative. A co-worker told me that they kept telling his son on his second birthday that they would throw it away. And on that day, his son marched out to the garbage man and handed it over. Then, he watched as the garbage man put it into his big truck and drove off. Very creative as well, I think.
Kalae Chock
Dave,
Thanks for your two cents. I’m not implying that parents know all or that people who are not parents know nothing.
Thanks for reading and writing in.
Kalae
Kalae,
I enjoy reading all the blogs. Thanks for reading my comment as well. I posted another comment (also on the 10th) that clarified my original comment but it’s still “in moderation”… Here’s what it said:
“Just to be clear: I enjoyed your story and don’t want to come across as being negative irt it. My comments were exclusive to the non-parents don’t understand concept. It’s really more like a “release” of built up thoughts from hearing the ole’ non-parents don’t understand comments in the past.”
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Keep up the good work. BTW, it’s from another topic but, I agree that the morning crew’s promos are looking really creative recently.
Dave
P.S. I’ll be looking fwd to some posts about how the “terrible twos” actually end up being for you and your husband in the upcoming months; I hear that sometimes they aren’t so terrible.
This is how we delt with the whole binky issue….. we never gave any of our 4 childen a binky, bottle or blankie….never had it ,never had to take it away!! I know what you are all thinking…..NO! not one bottle ever!! and yes they were allowed to have a blanket ,just not the same one . Now all the moms are saying” but I had to go to work,I had to give a bottle” I did go back after baby number 1 was about 8 months old….Grandma brought him to me so I could nurse on breaks and lunch!
Greate posts! Regarding the binky, my friend emailed me a link to a site that has a publication on losing the binky (it is all free, makes money by advertisements). She absolutly raved about the cut method and the psychology behind it. Very cool stuff, worked like a charm for me as well, wouldn’t do it any other way. The link is http://www.bye-bye-binky.com for anyone who is interrested. If you do, let me know your thoughts….Bella
Hey Bella,
Thanks for sharing, I checked out bye-bye-binky.com (not only was it free, but they didn’t even ask for my email, thank goodness). We followed the poke and cut steps and three days later she was done, and the decision was hers. She even refused a binky at daycare yesterday! I tried to give her one during a major meltdown last night, but it seems even I have lost one of my best soothing tools (lol, it’s all good though). Thanks for sharing. Kind Regards, Jill
hello thanx for the good information and advice!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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